so... i will take this time to express all of my emotions so that i am not overstressed.... so i apologize for the unorganized conseptions..

what does he want from me?... i mean, he made a move on  me once and then we pretened that nothing happened....then he made a second move.... and we said that we didnt want to do that again?.... but then he acts all guilty like he messed up or something?... then.. ugh!.... i dont know what to do?...

then all my friends say that he likes me?... but im so unsure?.... would we make a good couple or match?..... things are messed up in my nogin right now... GGGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!................ does he really like me?.. is the real question i guess?....

and what about my mother.... shes getting irritated i tell her that i need a new phone b/c my service is a bunch of crap, and the phone itself is even worse!... but no she wants me to just by the same phone to just get a new one... buit i dont want that phone anymore!!!....besides i'm paying for the phone by my self.. shes not paying dads not paying.. GRRR!!!!!!..... then she doesnt support me in my choice for a future at all... i mean shes happy that im going to college but not happy that i have chosen a career in Horses at all.... shed rather me be unhappy in a small office cubical!.... then theres the whole boyfriend deal!.. is it that sad that i dont have aboyfriend right now b/c i have enough truble as it is.... and plus she doesnt know that i got my heart broken so... yeah.. why does she care.. i can take care of myself.. i have been taking care of myself since my lil sister came into the picture!... Maybe im just abig mistake to her... i will not apologize to her for me not being girly enough for her.... im sorry id rather wear jeans instead of a desighner dress...... im sorry that i dont care to clop my face full of make up. that makes me look like a barbie fucking doll!...GGGGRRRRRRRR

wow i feel like i have alot more to say about my mother than anyone else!....

i am usually a happy person but..... lately i have lot on my plate with college comming up ... competions for color guard.... and more highschool crap.. then i have to sort things out with my friend that made a move on me and figure out weather or not we are okay or it he is hiding things from me!!!

okay i feel alot better now,.. feel free to leave a comment! :)